Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I can count

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What is your craziest college sex story?

I see through liars

I actually pay taxes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

What are some questions obviously just asked for sexual gratification?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Do you think most people would rather be a certain race or are most people happy with the race they are?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

How did the use of cows change in Indian culture over time? Is the value of cattle still important in modern times?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why would my nipples hurt when I touch them?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Why do some people have loving parents and some do not?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why do people hate fat people so much, even people who aren't exactly supermodels themselves? It seems like such a deep, passionate hatred, like they're offended by fat people just existing. Fat people didn't do anything to them, so why hate them?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Why does it smell so bad? I noticed that when I move around my vagina has a stench. It’s usually a wet liquid, almost like pee. There’re little to no discharge and it doesn’t hurt or itch.

I have a reading level above third grade

I can read

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

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I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Arnold Schwarzenegger dubbed ‘weird and creepy’ for blunt reaction to son Patrick’s ‘White Lotus’ nude scene - Page Six

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Walkoff caps ‘unreal 24 hours’ for Mariners’ Cole Young - Seattle Sports

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fakery

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

If you could instantly cancel one social norm, what would it be?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”